On the plane back home

On the plane back from Myanmar. Back to the "real world". This is my real mission ground. This is where my spiritual growth will be measured. God has been gracious in Myanmar. I've had opportunities for God to work through me... and yet through the week, I've come to an acute knowledge of my own failings. I am not on a "spiritual high", but rather I've been hit by spiritual reality. I have seen how ugly I am and how much I need His love, His grace and His mercy.

"God is waiting for us to come to that utter destitution of soul" Arthur Katz, True Fellowship pg71

I know I need to die daily. Everyday is a new test, a new battleground. Am I going to live this day denying myself? Or am I going to live this day denying God?

I know that God is working a death in Mae too. She has been through a torrid time these last month or so. God is allowing test after test, trial after trial. Sometimes I wonder whether she is able to withstand all this. I tell myself the God knows what He is doing, and that He will grant her the strength to handle this test, and that He will guide her through this dark valley. But still it has been so difficult seeing her struggle and seeing her suffer… and yet I feel God telling me that He is doing a work in her life… a work that isn't easy but is necessary for His glory to shine through her. Both of us need to learn to remain crucified daily…