Week flown past

Wow... the week has flown past. It has been a tough week, having to deal with a busy schedule, emotional and spiritual stuggles. God has been speaking to me, and yet I have not always been ready to listen. Sometimes I've wanted to turn a deaf ear, to just rebel for a while. satan has been trying to get a hold on my life. he has been trying to attack me through my emotions, through the areas in which I am most vulnerable. God has reminded me to be crucified to my flesh, that I should be denying myself, taking up the cross and following Him, but I have not always been doing that. It has been a bitter struggle. God is asking me whether I'm a true believer, or whether I'm just a phoney Christian. I desire to be a true believer with boldness and with great faith. But often I seem to be struggling with the powers that wrestle within me, and it makes things worse to know that Mae is struggling desperately as well. Certainly this walk with God is not an easy one. Was it ever meant to be? I know that God is refining me in the fire, and I realise the more I struggle and resist, the slower I will develop godly character and fruit. To yield to Him is a daily thing, a daily decision that is often so difficult and painful, and yet deep inside, one knows that it is painfully necessary. I am on the path to develop godly habits, and to rid myself of ungodly ones.... being in cold turkey is never easy, but painfully necessary. I realise that for Mae and me, this is something we need to do together as a team with each other's prayer and support. We cannot do it one our own for we are weak and we will surely fail. We need God's strength and each other's support. I haven't been consistent in my walk in Myanmar. I have been distracted by the TV, movies and sport. It has sucked away the time that I should have been spending with God. There are only a few days left here, but I know I need to conquer this before I go. Drastic measure have to be taken, like unplugging the TV and keeping the remote control in a inconvenient place. I need to be in tip-top condition because when I go back home, it is another battle to be fought and won.
The past 2 days have been positive for my dear dear... she seems to be learning how to cope better... I really thank Daddy for that... I have to do her proud here as well... I need to get my act together. I thank God for continuing to be faithful even when I haven't been all that faithful. He has been working in the hearts of the people here in Myanmar. I see a strong hunger and desire that I know that I must catch as well. They are much more consistent in prayer than I am... I need to address that. I need to improve on my closet prayer, my personal prayer time. I cannot only rely on church meetings for my growth. I need that consistent intimate time set aside to be with Dadddy. I need to be open before Him. I need to be wholly given to Him. I need to be surrendered to Him. If not I will never leave the plateau that I am on to go to greater heights of faith. If not, I will never grow into a deeper dimension of worship and a greater spiritual stature.
satan is robbing my of my spiritual blessings and I'm just willingly letting him do that. This has to stop, and I need to stand up for Daddy. I need to be firm and to be strong in my faith. I need to run the race well and to fight the good fight. I need to always be prepared to be used by Daddy for His glory. There can not be any spiritual off days for me. I don't want to be just a sunday Christian. I don't want to be a phoney any more. I want to live the victorious new life that Daddy has planned for me. It has to start from today.