Friday Thoughts

What a hectic week this has been... haven't had much time for rest. I have been left feeling tired, worn out and exhausted for pretty much the whole week. I've had problems with CCA, needed to keep an eye on the renovations of the music room, had to catch up with work, marking and other responsibilities. Thank God for the weekend, but I know that it will pass in a flash, as usual. I find myself perpetually trying to catch up. I wish I had more time to think and reflect and to just refresh myself. Unfortunately I don't, and there never seems to be enough time for anything.

I think I need to learn to put Daddy first... I think that the only way to solve the problem is that I need to spend more time with Daddy. Then, He will give me the efficiency to get things done. I pray that He will keep me on the right path, that He will give me the wisdom to handle each situation that I face at my work place.

My dear dear has been in a better mood this week, and I thank Daddy for that. It hasn't been easy facing so many difficulties at work and at the same time having to give her as much time and energy as I can. I know that things are not going smoothly for her too, I know that she needs my encouragement and my support. I just pray that I won't rely on my own strength, but I will let Daddy work in me and through me.

I love you dear dear... I appreciate all that you've done in this relationship. I know that Daddy is working through you. I know that He is molding you and changing you. I know that He is preparing you to be my wife of noble character. I thank God for all that He has done in your life. I thank Him for helping you grow in maturity and faith. I thank you for believing in me and in us. I thank you for submitting yourself to what Daddy wants to do in your life. I know that it hasn't been easy for you. I know that there has been many painful moments. But I thank Daddy that you are still hanging on and sticking around. You are precious to me. I love you and I want to learn to love you more each day. I want to submit myself to Daddy so that He can change me into a better person... so that I can be a better leader, a better husband, a better son, and a better father. I see the weeknesses in me and I know that I fall short in so many ways. I know that I need to learn and I need to be molded to. It hasn't been easy for me and it will not be easy for me in the coming months. But I am willing to go through the fire, that my character might be refined, that my heart can be purified that I shine forth as gold. I love you dear

A visit to HDB

My dear dear and me took a trip to HDB for our flat selection. At first, we were wondering if we should still go for the appointment, because our queue number was 347 with only 180 flats available. We decided to just give it a go to see if we still can get a flat. By the grace of God, there were still flats available, but most of them were on the 2nd story. There was one last flat remaining on the 3rd story, and we were quite tempted to just put our name down for it. If we were still scheduled to get married in November, then I would have definitely say yes. We wouldn't know if we would get another chance to choose a new flat in a mature estate. However, choosing the flat now would mean we have to get married soon, and with the situation as it is now with my mom, it is really not an easy decision to make. I was very proud of my dear dear... she managed to bring herself to say "Lets think about your mom... she wouldn't like it if we got the flat now... it might seems as though we were forcing her to accept our marriage".

This definately is not an easy thing for my dear dear to say. I know how much she wants to get married. I know how much she wants to get a flat with me. I'm really proud of her for not choosing to put her own desires first. It is amazing what God has done in her life in a short time. I thank God for His work... and I pray that by His grace, our relationship will continue to stand the test of time.

It was difficult for me to let go of the flat, especially as we didn't expect to have much of a choice left. I thank God for the experience. I pray that very soon, we will be able to choose a flat for real.

In the meantime... we only keep our dreams, and we keep believing that God will make a way in our situation.

Proud of Dear Dear

Finally the weekend is here, and I want to thank Daddy for taking me through it. Yesterday was especially hard for me in school… having to run all over the place, taking care of things. Met the contractors for 2 hours to discuss the colour schemes. After that, had to be there at harmonica practice.

Today was quite a good day. Had a chance to stay at home to relax a little… I enjoyed my time at intercession, though I felt that Daddy was telling me that this year has to be different, has to be a year of growth, of maturity.

I am extremely proud of my dear dear, who seems to be adapting well and growing a lot a lot. She has made decisions recently that have made everybody else sit up and notice, decisions that haven't exactly been very easy for her. I am glad that Daddy is really working in her life in such a mighty way… she really looks more and more beautiful as she allows Daddy to have His way in her life. I know that she hasn't been going through an easy patch, and this makes me appreciate all her efforts even more. I am proud of her. I believe in her… and now I have to watch myself that I don't slack spiritually. If not, she will overtake me and leave me stranded behind!

Dear dear I love you… thanks for believing in us. Thanks for choosing a road that is not the easiest for you. Thanks for thinking that this road is worth all that you put in. Thank you for allowing Daddy to change you and to make you a more beautiful person…

Muek muek I love you very very much.

Long Week

It has been a long week. Only one and a half weeks of the term gone, and I'm feeling drained already. I've tried to plan better and to be more efficient. But it is one thing to start out, but another to sustain the momentum.

My room's back to being a mess, quite demoralising. School has been tiring. I'm constantly trying to stay one step ahead in my lesson preparations, but it has been tough. CCA commitment is a challenge... I still have to arrange the SYF piece. I don't know when I can find the time to get that done.

I still am not spending much time with Daddy. I've been trying to pray for my students more though. It has been on and off. I feel that my class management is slightly better, but still can be improved on.

It has been an extreme week in terms of emotions. My dear dear has been really good the last 2 weeks, but then just last night it came crashing down again. I'm glad that both of us have rebounded from what happened last night. I am just happy to put it behind us. I know that I love her very very much. I know now that I want the best for her. I want to learn to be more responsible, to be able to take care of her better. Life hasn't been easy on her... even now. Maybe I'm one of her few blessings in life. I need to learn to be a greater blessing to her to make up for all the minuses in her life. I know that God has a reason for allowing her to go through what she is going through... but I know that Daddy wants me to learn how to love sacrificially and to learn to handle difficult situations and to persevere through tough trials.

On the whole, my life is still messy, though I'm learning to make it neater and better. I know I have a long way to go. I still feel very inadequate and yet I know that I am blessed, that Daddy has been kind to me.

I pray that I will learn to count my blessings every day, and to learn how to pray without ceasing. I need to really pray always in every situation with all kinds of prayer. I need to watch and remind myself not to fall into satan's traps and be taken in by his many tricks. I want to focus on Daddy, and on his abundant grace, mercy and love.

I love you dear dear... and I love you dearest Daddy. I know that I have disappointed you both at times, and yet I thank you that you both still believe in me. Daddy, thank you for all that you have given me and all that you've done for me. I want to learn to love you more with a pure heart. Please teach me how to deny myself and to take up my cross daily. Help me to find my rest in the shadow of your wings.

Bad morning for dear dear

My dear dear had a bad morning today... if she is reading this, I just want her to know that I am very proud of her, and that I believe in her. Even though she might still be a work in progress, I know that one day God will finish his work in her and she will bloom into a beautiful princess of the Most High.

I know that God will work miracles in her life....

Dear dear cheer up ok? remember that I love you very much and that I believe in you.... you are precious to me and I love you...

Orientation Weekend

It has been an extremely busy weekend. Yesterday was the orientation concert and CCA fair. It was an emotional ordeal for me as I was in charge of handling the concert as well as taking care of my own CCA. I had also the combinded auditions for the Musical groups to worry about, so the whole day was a mad rush to get things done. I upset certain other teachers as well with my inadequate preparations.. I had to look back at the whole event and try to take back as many learning points as I can from the whole day. I also upset some CCA members, when they saw me helping out the band with their performance. I was upset within me because some of them made some extremely unfair comments about me not being committed to the Harmonica Ensemble. I had to address the issue, but I also had to hold back my tears, and telling myself that they are just not at that level of maturity yet where they can see the big picture.

I came back home really dead tired after one entire day of standing up and carrying out so many responsibilities. Thankfully I had a refreshing rest at night... my dear dear was nice enough to let me have a relatively early night... She could see that I was dead tired.

Today in comparism was a much more relaxed day... Had tuition as usual, but managed to squeeze in a visit to New Creation Church, which was refreshing. God reminded me of the fact that only He could give me true rest and carry me through the trials and the struggles that I face. Pastor Prince was able to illustrate the truths extremely well. Was certainly blessed and challenged.

I am so pleased that my dear dear has been so positive this past few days. She has really been an inspiration to me. I thank God that He is at work in her life, even through all the struggles that she faces. I pray that Daddy will bless her and will honour her commitment and sacrifice. I pray that Daddy will truly make her a wife of noble character, and that He will make me a good leader in this relationship.

Thinking of You... Thinking of You Fondly

Haven't had much time to blog this week... so, I'm trying to make up for it now by writing more than one entry today:

I think over the last week my dear dear has been fantastic. She has been so supportive and so wonderful even though she has not been having an easy time. Yes, we've had not so good moments during Christmas and during New Year's Eve... but she seems to have come out stronger and more determined than before. She has been making some bold decisions, and she has taken steps to forge a closer relationship with Daddy, and to become an even more supportive girlfriend and future-wife. Thanks dear...

I really love you a lot. I treasure what we have together... I treasure and cherish the times we can spend together. I thank Daddy for giving me you... a wonderful partner who choses to stand with me, to persevere with me through thick and thin.

You know that I have given up much to be with you. But I also think that you have given up much... you have chosen to let Daddy change you and to mold you, even though it hasn't been an easy refining process for you. You have had to endure much heartache and trials. You have had to choose to see things positively even when the silver linings have not always been that visible. I thank you and I am proud of you for choosing all that.

I pray for you now that Daddy will bless you, and that He will give you the strength to rise above the occasion. He has such a wonderful plan for you and for us. He believes in you and He loves you more than I can ever love you. And yet I know in my heart I love you more than any earthly thing.

I believe in Daddy and I believe in us and I believe in you. I know that after this refining process, you will shine forth as gold.

I know that I will be getting my wife of noble character. I love you.... I always will...

I pray we will press on... together...

A Frantic First Week

Yes... the mad rush to catch up is back. It is back to school time, and I am determined to make things work better this time around. I've met most of the classes already for the first time, and I am excited for the year ahead. It is nice to be able to follow up my students this year, even though some of them have been streamed to the top class. I will be working with the bottom end of the express. I want to improve and not make the same mistakes as I made the last year. I want to be more organised and more effective, espeially in terms of making sure the people in my class complete their assignments on time. I want to improve my channel of communication with them. I want them to be able to give me suggestions for improvement.

Besides teaching, there are still all the other responsibilities that I have to attend to... I need to take care of the Harmonica Club, as well as to keep an eye out for the choir and the band. I need take charge of the Orientation concert. I need to do my best so that the musical groups stay alive this year.

Back to School

2 days of school has passed... and the mad rush has begun... a new year with new challenges... need to remember to pray and pray for my students.

Thoughts about the New Year

A brand new year, and with it, a brand new start. Many hopes and dreams to realise, many lessons to learn and struggles to overcome.

My prayer is that this year will be a year of breakthrough. Breakthrough in terms of my spiritual life, which has deteriorated over the past 2 years. Also, a breakthrough in my personal life, a cleansing of my soul and spirit, with a renewed focus and determination to set my eyes on that which is right. A patience to endure all the hardships that God has placed in my life. These hardships are there to mold me and to build up my faith and my character... to make me more mature and more able to withstand all that satan throws at me. Also, to build me up, so that when others struggle and face the battles, I can be there to encourage them, to spur them on.

It is a challange to want to do all things right, especially when there are still such big outstanding issues to work out...

I say I need to pray more, but whether I actually do really remains to be seen.

I need to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer and a speaker. The truth needs to be lived out and to be demonstrated in my life. And God certainly has given me the opportunities. I just haven't taken them very well over the last year.

This new year is a new chance.

I am encouraged by the way my dear dear is taking this new year. She actually has made resolutions, when before, she said that she didn't believe in making resolutions because she never ever keeps them.

I love it when she is on a spiritual high. I certainly have to appreciate and remember these times so that when she is low, I will not succumb to discouragement, but I will have the strength to be that light to pull her back out of the depths again.

I need to be stable, I need to be strong in the Lord. I need to be the leader in this relationship. I need to demonstrate what I want her to learn in faith, and at the same time, I need to be pushed spiritually by her to reach for greater heights.

Tomorrow I start school. I am determined to do a better job than before. I am determined to be more organised, to be more purposeful and focussed. I need to do what I say I will do and not to put things off. I need to be efficient and to be effective. I need to produce results in my class and not merely good ideas. I need to pray for my students daily and to encourage them. I need divine wisdom to know how to motivate them. I need to be their light and their mentor and friend. It is a challenge...

God help me I pray, and give me the strength... I need you now more than ever before.