Long Week

It has been a long week. Only one and a half weeks of the term gone, and I'm feeling drained already. I've tried to plan better and to be more efficient. But it is one thing to start out, but another to sustain the momentum.

My room's back to being a mess, quite demoralising. School has been tiring. I'm constantly trying to stay one step ahead in my lesson preparations, but it has been tough. CCA commitment is a challenge... I still have to arrange the SYF piece. I don't know when I can find the time to get that done.

I still am not spending much time with Daddy. I've been trying to pray for my students more though. It has been on and off. I feel that my class management is slightly better, but still can be improved on.

It has been an extreme week in terms of emotions. My dear dear has been really good the last 2 weeks, but then just last night it came crashing down again. I'm glad that both of us have rebounded from what happened last night. I am just happy to put it behind us. I know that I love her very very much. I know now that I want the best for her. I want to learn to be more responsible, to be able to take care of her better. Life hasn't been easy on her... even now. Maybe I'm one of her few blessings in life. I need to learn to be a greater blessing to her to make up for all the minuses in her life. I know that God has a reason for allowing her to go through what she is going through... but I know that Daddy wants me to learn how to love sacrificially and to learn to handle difficult situations and to persevere through tough trials.

On the whole, my life is still messy, though I'm learning to make it neater and better. I know I have a long way to go. I still feel very inadequate and yet I know that I am blessed, that Daddy has been kind to me.

I pray that I will learn to count my blessings every day, and to learn how to pray without ceasing. I need to really pray always in every situation with all kinds of prayer. I need to watch and remind myself not to fall into satan's traps and be taken in by his many tricks. I want to focus on Daddy, and on his abundant grace, mercy and love.

I love you dear dear... and I love you dearest Daddy. I know that I have disappointed you both at times, and yet I thank you that you both still believe in me. Daddy, thank you for all that you have given me and all that you've done for me. I want to learn to love you more with a pure heart. Please teach me how to deny myself and to take up my cross daily. Help me to find my rest in the shadow of your wings.